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(sarcasm) I NEED BIG JUGS AND BLONDE HAIR!1!1 Haha don't worry, that's not what I mean when I say I'm picky. All I mean is I have reasonable standards I'd like a girl to meet. Oh and the very last thing I wanna do is turn this into an interview process. Seriously, when is that ever fun? Or even natural? If you're interested in me and you think I might be interested in you just email me and ask me what's up! Tell me what you're doing or how your summer's going or something. Unless of course you're just DYING to know what my favorite food is. Soooooooo here we go!
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-You gotta have a dry, wry or just plain sarcastic wit. Playful teasing is one of my favorite things to do unless you think I'm being serious :P
-You can be pretty/beautiful/hot/cute/whatever but if it's gone to your head I'm not gonna enjoy your company. I've had to work for everything I've ever had in life and if you can't appreciate that then sry!
-You need to understand that looks certainly aren't everything, but they're still definitely something. I'm gonna need your picture at some point so you might as well fork it over xD. Not to be mean, but if you can easily yourself "fat" then I probably wouldn't be interested. I like a girl closer to my weight. But if you're asking yourself "well what's considered 'fat'" then I'm sure you're alright. I'm skinny. I know this. I'm comfortable enough to admit it, and comfortable enough with it to understand that not all women are into that. If you're a big girl you should be comfortable with yourself enough to either brush me off as a total jackass or understand that I just wouldn't be that into you. It's ed taste, and we've all got it.
-YOU'RE PICKY TOO! Honestly, who can respect someone without any standards?
Here's a little bit about me:
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-I'm not the tough-guy type. I'm the creative, sexy, nerdy type. I look good in a sweater, blazer or button-up shirt. Not a wife-beater. I'm not gonna sock some guy in a bar for you. I might play an instrument for you though, but that's more like a fourth date kinda thing xD
-I'm not here for sex. That's what bars are for. I'm posting here because I figure if I'm having a hard time finding someone who I can share not just my junk but my life with, then maybe somebody like me is here looking for the same thing.
-I'm a busy guy and I can't be around all the time, so if you want somebody you can keep on a short leash, go out and get a chihuahua. You can him George. Or you can lower your standards a bit and really get to know one of those super needy guys that are always bugging you. You know the ones I mean. ANYWAY, while I do have important things to do, don't worry; if we hit it off I'll make time for you :)
For the sake of avoiding longevity (FAIL) I'll end it here. And so I know you're a real human bean (get it? 'Bean' sounds like 'being' har har) in the subject line of your email tell me which boy band you were crazy over in elementary/junior high so I can make fun of you for it. And don't pretend you weren't crazy for at least ONE of them. You show me a girl who says she never liked any boy bands and I'll show you a LIAR.
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